All of my life I’ve been an expat, an immigrant, a foreigner, even in my native country.
My French parents had never really travelled abroad before settling in England. Except my mom. She had gone to Argentina when she was 21 on a whim to meet up with her brother who had settled there. It was the 60s. A single woman, travelling alone on a ship was not very common in those days. The journey took 3 weeks! Amazingly, nothing bad happened to her.
The Beginnings of Carlota
It all started when I was 5 weeks old and my mom took me on a plane ride from Paris to London. I had barely recovered from a surgery due to an infection at birth that off we went to a foreign land.
We spent 2 years living in England just north of London. Despite being a French family and only hearing my native language at home, my first sentence was in English: I’m not a boy, I’m a girl.
After that, we moved to Minneapolis, Minnesota in the United States. No, my parents weren’t diplomats. My mom was a stay-at-home mom and my dad worked in electronics. In fact, my mom only got her high school diploma when we moved to the U.S. She was 38 years old and despite not being fluent in English she managed to finish high school.
As for my dad, he worked for international electronic companies. Therefore, when there was a posting abroad, he was the first to volunteer. My father took night classes to learn English before I was born with my two brothers in tow.
Time in France
After the U.S., it was time to go back “home”. We settled in a relatively small town called Élancourt, about 45 minutes away from Paris and not that far away from the town of Versailles. We spent 5 years there.
It was hard at first when we moved there, at least for me. I had long blonde hair and spoke more English than I did French. I really stuck out like a sore thumb on the playground, just short of my 5th birthday. Kids can be cruel.
One time, while in kindergarten, the boys thought it would be funny to push me down to the grown in the playground, pull my skirt up and pull down my underwear. I was not laughing. Yet somehow, I was made to feel like it was my fault. Not by my parents but by the staff. Ignorance is dangerous.
Nonetheless, I did not let that moment define me. But this is probably one of the reasons that I don’t mind being on my own. I’m used to it.
I loved our time in France.
The countryside
We often went to the countryside in Picardie to visit my godfather. He had bought a hotel restaurant in a village which he converted into a house. At the time, the toilets were outdoors. So, at night, he would leave a chamber pot out in the corridor. His place also had an old bakery building attached to his place. Although it was long forgotten, it still had the baker’s stove. Those were great times.
We would walk to one of the nearby farms to get the milk in the morning which was still warm while trying not to walk in cow poop along the way. The village, Bergicourt, was nestled at the bottom of a valley. We knew we were getting close when we would start getting a sniff of cow manure.
Summer Vacations
In the summer, we would drive down to Nice in the South of France where my aunt and cousins lived. The drive was so long. At least 8 hours if we didn’t hit traffic. But our time there was the best one could hope for. I loved our summers there but not walking on the pebbled beach. Ouch!
My aunt would often take me to the old part of Nice where we would enjoy ice cream. We’d go to tourist shops where she would add another “santon” to her collection. Santons are terra cotta dolls. I’m not crazy about them but I collected miniature perfume bottles and funky erasers. Who was I to judge?
Nice has some of the best ice cream places. Although they can’t compare to the gelato in Italy, this is as close as it gets. Have you ever tried a basil-tomato or avocado ice cream flavor? Pretty wild, right?
Sadly, after 5 years, it was time to move. Off to England we went. A-gain.
England
This time around, we settled in Woking, south of London. My parents made me go to Halstead Preparatory School for Girls where I had to wear a uniform. It wasn’t the end of the world, but our school colors were brown and turquoise. Just like in Harry Potter, we had houses. I was in Strachan, red.
I know it wasn’t every Sunday, but it sure felt that way. My father would take me to visit a museum or a site in and around London. I hated visiting museums as a kid but the ones I liked the most were Mme Tussaud, a wax museum, and the National Art Gallery. Despite the fact that I very much disliked doing these outings as a kid, I will forever be grateful that I got to do them with my father. As an adult now, I totally see the importance of it.
Italy
Finally, our last move as a family was to Milano, in the North of Italy. I only spent a year and half there. That was some fancy living, one I was not accustomed to. Most houses have marble flooring there. As for my classmates, well they all came from families well above my parents pay grade. I went to the International School of Milan. Although I have fond memories from my time there, I still see myself sitting alone on the playground. It was hard for me to make myself fit in.
Yet, somehow, I still managed to get my first kiss there. His name was Andy. The high was short-lived as my classmates all found out about it. I was then seen as the French slut. It was one kiss! Kids can be cruel.
Shortly after, my parents separated, and I moved back to France with my mom.
The adult life
I began my adult life while living in Philadelphia in the U.S. Those were some of the best years of my life. While in college, I made a great group of friends. Finally, I felt a part of something. They became my family away from home.
I was the first to marry and get pregnant. It wasn’t in that order as I got married when I was 7 months pregnant.
Those were trying times. I had graduated a year prior, but my husband still had a year to go. To top it all, by the time Junior was born, my visa had run out. Yes, I became an illegal immigrant.
Junior
I managed to find a waitress job in a diner when Junior was 8 weeks old. My shifts were at night on weekdays and weekends. Despite our families and friends helping us out, we had to make do with what we had. I converted my drawing table into a changing table. I washed my baby’s clothes in the tub as we had no washing machines. There was one in the building, way down in the smelly basement. That was not an option.
When I first had Junior, the Internet for regular folks was just starting out. We didn’t have bloggers, YouTubers, influencers, Facebook. This was the era of AOL and Apple had just come out with the first iPod.
Luckily, I had had some longterm babysitting experience. It was actually my side job during college. I even got to take care of an infant and I am so glad that I did.
So I pretty much had to rely on my wits and my guts when Junior was born. I had a general idea of what kind of mother I would be. That completely changed when Junior was born.
Junior and I moved to Paris, France when he was 3 ½ years old.
My husband didn’t follow then, and never did. I was all alone with my son in tow, trying to adjust to life back in France. You can queue in Depression for that period of time as well.
The mentality and administration were totally different than the one I had grown accustomed to in the U.S. Why do the French have to make things so difficult?
You can’t get a “small” job in France when you have a degree from a university. I had to live on welfare with my son for a year before I could find one. Luckily, it was in my field of Interior Design.
Blondie Bear
Eight years later after Junior, I had my Blondie Bear.
We lived outside of Paris in the country. The distance from a city and having to rely on a car to get around didn’t suit me. I am and will forever be a city girl. Yet, having a huge backyard, making my own compost, and using cloth diapers made me happy. Small wins.
By the time Blondie Bear was born, I was unemployed. This suited me even if I missed working. But working meant a 4-hour commute. Staying home to take care of my kids was a more viable option.
Expat Life in Montreal
We moved to Montreal on July 1st, 2009. Blondie Bear had just started walking and had turned 1 right before our move. Junior was 2 months shy of his 9th birthday.
What a difference life in the city makes!
We love living in Montreal even if I personally miss France. The countryside, the food, the grocery market, the culture, the landscape, my family, makes me miss my native country every day.
It’s not hard for me to adjust to a different country since I’ve been doing that all my life. As an adult, it’s a little harder though. You have to find shelter and a job in order to provide for your family. Yes, it’s hard to do when you have kids and no job when you arrive to your new destination. I guess I like challenges.
It took me a year before getting a steady job. Not because it was hard to find one but because I couldn’t get a spot for Blondie Bear in a daycare. His father was not willing to stay home to care for him so that fell on me.
A single moment
A year and half after our move, like a lot of expat couples, we separated. It was not a smooth separation nor smooth sailing from there.
Having full-time care of my kids, I did drop off and pick up from daycare every single day. When I had to work on weekends, I brought my kids with me if I couldn’t find somebody to watch them for free.
I don’t know how I managed on my own during all those years. Yet, when I look back, I have a lot of fun memories with my kids. We explored and had fun in Montreal. Luckily, Montreal is a great place to raise a family. It also provides tons of FREE activities to do with the kids. This is perfect when you are a single mom and only get 30$ per month of child support. No, that’s not a typo.
I’m remarried now since 2019. Hopefully, this new husband of mine, Big Boss, won’t jump ship. We couldn’t have kids so we got two dogs instead: Nouki and Price.
About Carlota’s Web Blog
Through 20 years of ups and downs of being a mom, I’ve gone through a lot. My first husband jumped ship on our relationship, my second partner was abusive, and I was just a hot mess. I’m not putting the blame on my failed relationships on them entirely but in a nutshell that’s what happened.
A social worker once told me that I should do seminars for single moms. It stuck with me. I’ve never considered myself a super mom. But I do consider myself a good mom. At least when my kids were little. Now that they have grown, they don’t need me as much. We all want to be in our own little bubble and that’s OK. We do still have Sunday pasta-movie night or Thursday pizza-game night. But other than that, we are all pretty independent. So now, I blog.
I started the blog as a way to express myself and share my experiences. The intention was to inspire other moms to not give up, not feel down and stay active even with kids. The ultimate goal was to keep (or start) feeling alive.
Having moved around so much in my life has opened tons of different horizons onto the world for me. It has given me the strength, the courage, the resilience to adapt to any types of situations that is thrown at me. My passion to explore and to learn that was passed on to me from my parents, I have given to my sons. Now, I want to try to give it to YOU.
Carlota’s Web Blog blends my passion for travel with my desire to share activities with kids while on a budget and has become the reference for mothers who want to live an extraordinary life. The desire to share and discover new and odd things pushes me into a conscious lifestyle which makes me want to continue to invest more of myself into this intense but fabulous journey called life.
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To learn more about where we’ve been, start with our destination page.
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WHY FOLLOW CARLOTA’S WEB?
To date, Carlota’s Web Blog has grown into a large family lifestyle blog full of useful travel and parenting information based on our personal experiences, combined with inspirational articles on our day-to-day life.
Every month, a handful of people come to my site to read my story, follow my misadventures, seek my travel and parenting advice and get information on how I managed to turn my life as a single mom around.
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