The ABC of Parenthood- Mental Health of New Moms

Balanced mental health for new moms is just as important as caring for her baby.

Approximately 13% of young mothers suffer from depression in the first month after giving birth.

It’s no secret that new moms often suffer from Baby Blues after giving birth or depression. Don’t worry, it’s completely normal.

Some symptoms may include sadness, irritability, loss of interest or pleasure, sleep disturbance and fatigue.

However, there are ways to deal with them without having to go to the doctor. However, if your symptoms persist, it’s best to see one.

Loneliness affects a new mom’s mental health.

During your maternity leave, spending whole days without contact with adults can make it difficult and time-consuming. It doesn’t change the love you have for your offspring.

For one thing, don’t speak ‘baby talk’. Your baby is not a moron. Talk to him or her normally, in a normal voice. This advice applies to over-bearing grandmothers, by the way. Not only will this help your child’s language development, but you’ll feel more ‘normal’.

Do activities to meet other new moms.

Limit your time on social networks because you need time for yourself, for your well-being and especially to recover.

Social networks can be detrimental to your mental health and plunge you further into loneliness. Watch from a distance what other moms are doing. We like to create the illusion that everything is beautiful and easy, but this is far from being the daily reality of new moms.

Set small goals for yourself

Being a new mom involves ups and downs, which affects your mental health. Don’t put unnecessary pressure on yourself to do well.

Being a mom is a full-time job. Anyone who says it isn’t is clearly not spending entire days caring for a baby. It’s impossible to do everything the way it used to be, so don’t try.

Set small goals for yourself. If necessary, make a list for the week and then divide it up by day.

Plus, you’re not alone. You have a partner who can take over. If you are a single mother, ask someone close to you for help. There’s really no shame in that.

While it’s manageable to take care of a baby on your own, why bother when you can ask for help? Your mental health will thank you for doing this.

Take time for yourself

It is absolutely necessary to find a moment of your own during the day.

My sister-in-law Anna Banana had followed my advice and thanked me for it (for once I was listened to).

Personally, the moment for me was my shower. It goes without saying that washing is every day is important, especially if you are breastfeeding. The shower was my way of having peace and a moment to take care of myself.

I know that it may seem trivial or obvious. However, as a young mom, we tend to forget about taking care of our own hygiene.

Taking care of yourself is not selfish.

I usually showered during a nap. Otherwise, I would put my baby in a bouncy chair with a small toy in the bathroom while I showered.

My little moment lasted a maximum of 15 minutes, but it was better than nothing. You can enhance this little moment of pleasure with this shower gel. It smells great and is perfect for the skin.

The goal of taking time for yourself is to have a moment for yourself without interruption.

Mental Health Snacks

Do something that makes you happy. If it’s not showering or bathing, read a book, listen to music, meditate, knit, do sports. Anything that brings you joy.

You can take mental health snacks that last 5 minutes, three times a day. For ideas and inspiration, have you read Dr. Rangan Chatterjee’s book? You can get it HERE.

Healthy habits for balanced mental health

In order to take better care of your baby, it’s important that you’re healthy.

Fatigue affects all new parents.

It’s not true that your child will have a full night’s sleep right from the start. When I say a full night, I mean one without interruption for 10 to 12 hours. Depending on your child, this won’t happen until your baby is 3 or 4 months. It was my case.

So what can you do?

Some women nap at the same time as their babies. If not, go to bed early to recharge your batteries.

Personally, I wasn’t able to take a nap for any of my kids.

Being hyper-active by nature, I used my nap time for washing, cleaning, tidying up. If you have dogs, because of the hair, you will have no choice but to clean every day.

When I had Junior, we didn’t have a washing machine. I had to wash our clothes in the tub. Nap time was the best time to do it. Especially since when he was 8 weeks old, I had to work evenings as a waitress at a dinner so that we could support ourselves financially.

For Blondie Bear, I would take a 1-hour lunch break during his mid-day nap, watch a soap opera, or surf the internet; Facebook had just appeared.

Anyway, to each his own method for a balanced mental health.

A moment for yourself, every day, is essential to your survival in order to avoid the baby blues.

Having a routine

If possible, try to organize your days by having a small routine. It’s good for you and your baby. It sets a rhythm in his or her life and yours and makes things less complicated and boring.

There are many different things you can do to establish a simple routine. Divide your day into different stages:

• Activities;
• Rest;
• Tasks;
• Meals;
• Body care;
• A relaxing moment like a massage for the baby;
• Reading.

Of course, not necessarily in that order!

Activities for your mental health

At least one walk a day is necessary for good mental health unless of course it is -30 outside. However, not everyone lives in Canada!

It is important to get some fresh air while walking every day. It allows you to not only get out of the house but to get back into shape. Pregnancy and childbirth are hard, not only on your body as a new mom, but also on your mental health.

Not only is getting some fresh air good for you, but also for your baby. It will awaken and sharpen his or her senses. It’s a win-win situation for everyone!

Of course, I’m not talking about taking a hike, just a 30-minute walk outside every day. With a baby carrier, it’s even more effective! A walk is good for morale!

But don’t stress and say, ‘But I don’t have time for that! Going grocery shopping on foot, or going to the park across the street is an outing, right? I know what you are thinking: grocery shopping on foot? Have your groceries delivered or put them in the stroller.

Activities to do with your baby

In Montreal, there are plenty of activities you can do with your baby. Since maternity leave is 1 year long here, it’s much easier to participate in activities during the week.

Not only will these activities benefit you physically and mentally, but they will help you socialize instead of isolating you.

There are activities that you can do through the YMCA such as aqua-gym. However, it is advisable to wait until your child is 6 months old or at least until all of his or her first immunizations are up to date.

Otherwise, there is mother-child yoga or the stroller gym. I admit that the latter is beyond me, but hey, there is something for every taste and budget.

It doesn’t matter what you do, but moving around helps reduce the risk of depression. Don’t be afraid to go out with your baby!

Doing group activities allows you to connect with other moms. It’s good for meeting other adults and feeling less alone. These other moms are going through the same thing you are going through at the same time.

Life with music

Life is not supposed to be taken seriously all the time. Play music and dance while you cook or wash dishes.

Blondie Bear loved it. I used to put him in his bouncy chair or in his ‘playpen’ (because I had dogs) while I did the cooking. I would dance and sing and he would follow the rhythm of the music in his own way with as big a smile as possible. Pure moments of happiness.

Ask for help

I’ll say it again. There is no shame in asking for help. Put your ego aside and ask your partner, friend or family member for help.

First of all, it is obvious that your partner should be involved in your child’s life. After all, you didn’t do it alone.

Let your partner take over. Encourage him or her to take care of the baby at bath time, give the baby a massage, read a story. Any activity that will strengthen the bond with your baby.

Give specific instructions to the people you ask for help. This will help them feel more helpful. They can prepare a meal for you, run errands, or just look after the baby while you take some time for yourself.

If the idea of receiving people stresses you out, here are some ideas on how to deal with The Visits.

As a new mom, focus on your mental and physical health so you can be the best mom you can be.

Cheer up mom, we’ve all been there. It will all come back to normal!